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Sully – 2022

The Terrible Sensei Shihan

                Sensei Shihan grins at the karate class. Most of the students are 5 years old, and only a few can pass the three-foot mark on a measuring tape. Black Bottom Leano walks into the gym, the famous black bottom of his karate uniform shown proudly. He strides to the front of the class, and bows. Sensei Shihan cackles. “Yes, bow down to your only god, ME!” The rest of the class bow down to their only god, Sensei Shihan. Sensei Shihan’s smile stretches from ear to ear. “Now, it’s time to stretch! Come here boah,”

                Sensei Shihan pulls a weedy linguini boy from the line of students. Craiden is one of the few students who can reach an astonishing 3 feet high. Sensei Shihan grabs both of Craiden’s legs and stretches them apart. Craiden shrieks in pain as his legs go into a split. The rest of the class mutters in horror. Sensei Shihan continues to pull Craiden’s legs apart until they touch his head. Suddenly, there is a cracking sound, and Craiden’s right leg falls to the floor, completely twisted from its socket. Seconds later, the other leg falls off. If it’s possible to scream any louder, Craiden does. “Quiet down little boah. When I was your age, I used to do splits so wide that my legs would stretch around my head and touch the floor again!” Sensei Shihan tosses what remains of Craiden into the pile of sparring equipment.

                “Now its time for kicks!” Sensei Shihan pulls a small 3-year-old toddler from the mix and sets him on a tall chair. “This is a front kick.” Sensei Shihan demonstrates, and his foot collides with the toddler. The toddler flies across the room and hits the wall. The poor child doesn’t get up again. “Who dares to spar with me?”. The class is completely silent. Then, a brave man by the name of Brickfoot raises his hand high. Sensei Shihan’s face darkens. “Come forward,” he says. The students part as Brickfoot stomps forward, each time his foot hits the floor, the ground shakes. Black Bottom Leano steps forward. “I will be the referee”.

                Brickfoot and Sensei Shihan go into their fighting stance opposite of each other on the mat. “FIGHT!” Black Bottom Leano cries. Immediately, Sensei Shihan flies toward and bombards Brickfoot with a combination of quick punches.

                Brickfoot groans like creaking metal and stomps his foot forward. Sensei Shihan cries out in surprise as his foot is flattened to the mat. Sensei Shihan tries to move, but his foot is stomped thinner than paper. Brickfoot leaps into the air, his head almost reaching the roof of the gym. Now Brickfoot is falling on his opponent. Sensei Shihan yells “Yame-Sto-“ but his shout is cut off sharply, and everybody in the class hears a rib tingling crunch as Brickfoot smashes Sensei Shihan into a small grease spot. Black Bottom Leano stutters, and then grabs Brickfoot’s hand, raising it high into the air. Brickfoot had defeated the terrible Sensei Shihan!


One response to “The Terrible Sensei Shihan”

  1. […] The Terrible Sensei Shihan — Sully […]


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