The Hobo that lived in a House

Bimmy snored loudly in his water mattress. The mattress, which actually wasn’t a water mattress but a regular mattress that had been soaked in water, had all sorts of plants and organisms living inside and on it. Bimmy cried out in panic and clutched his teddy bear tightly. He was having a terrible dream that there was not a single thing to eat on the entire planet. Suddenly from outside, there was a honking noise. Bimmy’s eyes flew open and he leapt from his swamp of a bed. Bimmy screamed a battle cry and jumped out of the canopy of leafs and foliage that blocked off his bed from the outside world. He leaped through his broken bedroom window and raced outside, sheets and blankets trailing behind him. Bimmy cried again and jumped onto the UPS truck. The mailman raced to the front of the truck and stomped on the gas pedal. Bimmy savagely ripped at the truck’s back door and it swung open. Bimmy raced inside and started riffling through all of the boxes.

                The UPS truck was picking up speed as it sped down the large hill. Bimmy struggled to keep balance as the truck hit several dozen potholes and speedbumps placed randomly throughout the road. The mailman cackled with glee as the truck sailed through the air after hitting a monster of a speedbump. All these times Bimmy the Hobo has assaulted him while he was doing his job of delivering mail. Now he would be getting his revenge. Bimmy meanwhile had found his prize, a laser gun with a huge reticle on the top.

                Bimmy cradled it and leapt out of the back door of the UPS truck. The mailman looked back just as Bimmy fired a shot from the gun. The whole truck flipped over several times before crashing into the asphalt with a bone cracking thud. Bimmy raised his laser gun over his head and hooted like a baboon. He switched on “minigun mode” on the gun and pressed the fire button. Lasers began to fire out of the muzzle of the gun like an assault rifle, and everything was going up in flames. Finally, Bimmy the hobo was getting his revenge on the cruel world.

                Suddenly, there was a crackle and a pop, and a tiny man appeared right before Bimmy’s eyes. The tiny man was wearing an orange jumpsuit and holding a large stick. Bimmy started to aim at the man, but there was a sizzle, and the boy raised his wand. “Avada Kedvra!” bellowed Hawwy. Bimmy fell to the ground and was dead even before he could hit the ground. Hawwy grabbed the laser gun and stuffed it into his backside pocket. That might come in handy. Then Hawwy apparated waay.

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