Gandmamaso Strikes Again

Gandmamaso cackles as she takes a swig from her white flask. A milk moustache covers the gruesome hairs on her chin and upper lip. Standing on the balcony of the tallest building in the world, Burj Khalifa, Gandmamaso can feel the strength of the wind as it whips her milk stained robes around. Gandmamaso’s target, Billy Ibn Fulan Habesha, is standing just 2,700 feet below. A low cloud passes below. It is time to act. With a battle cry sounding suspiciously like “gAnDmAmAso!”, Gandmamaso leaps off the floor. Time seems to slow as gravity takes effect, yanking the Milk Mother down towards the ground. The low cloud conceals the wrinkly old hag of a body as she free falls.

                Billy groans and rubs his belly. He knew he shouldn’t have eaten that “Chocolate covered banana” one of the seedy looking street vendors was selling him. Billy feels like he could breath fire. He would buy a bottle of milk to ease the fire, but Billy is lactose intolerant. Stumbling onto a wooden bench at the base of Burj Khalifa, he pulls out his phone and is about to turn it on when he sees something in the reflection of it. There is a body falling closer. Billy turns around and looks up. The reflection wasn’t lying; A body really is falling toward him. Billy jumps up, screams, and is about to run away, but it is too late. Gandmamaso strikes again.

                Gandmamaso’s bare feet crack the pavement of the reinforced concrete that surrounds the base of the structure. Her milk reinforced bones can’t be broken by a mere 3,000-foot fall. People stare as blood splatters all over the pavement. They start to crowd around the broken body of Billy Ibn Fulan Habesha.  Under Gandmamaso’s feet, Billy croaks out his last words, but they are drowned out as Gandmamaso calls out to the crowd “Whups! Didn’t mean to fall on him, sorry!” Gandmamaso steps off of Billy’s body and takes a quick swig from her milk jug. Another lactose-intolerant idiot down. Yanking out a crinkling notepad with white stains on it, Gandmamaso strikes out Billy’s name. Thousands more victims to go before Gandmamaso’s can finally spread the word of Milk to the world.

Advertisement