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“why follow your dreams when you can follow me?”

Sully – 2022

Sensei Shihan goes to an MMA match

                Sensei Shihan grins and he combs was little hair he has on his bald head into a spike. Sensei Shihan turns around, examining his hairstyle, but it looks too Jimmy Neutron.  His dream, to fight in an MMA match, has finally been answered. As he slicks back his hair in the bathroom, he hears the sound of a fist hitting flesh, and winces as a huge body hits the foam mat. Just outside, a small skirmish has just ended. Sensei Shihan tightens his fake black belt, the one he killed a karate instructor for, and a bogus smile stretches across his face in the mirror. Ever since he eliminated the students in his karate class, except one, Sensei Shihan had felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of his back. He vowed never to teach karate ever again.

                Sensei Shihan opens the bathroom door, and strides outside, puffing out his chest. The fighting arena is centered in the middle of a huge auditorium. Waves of cheering crowds stop making noise as Sensei Shihan struggles to climb to the top of the fighting mat, which is about two feet high. A couple people in the audience start sniggering at how short Sensei Shihan is. After Sensei Shihan is on top of the mat, his opponent steps forward, easily jumping to the same level as Sensei Shihan. Sensei Shihan looks up, and up, and up. His opponent towers over him. As he nears the neck, he gasps, recognizing the slumped shoulders of Alehandro, his Russian karate student. Sensei Shihan has always been  unsuccessful in his scheme to destroy Alehandro. The Russian must’ve learned some Russian moves back in Russia. Alehandro smashes his fists into his hand and smiles like a frog who just ate a juicy fly.

                “So, we meet again, Sensei”, Alehandro spits out the name like its poison on his tongue. The referee, a tall linguini-ish man by the name of Billy Bob, makes a strange movement with his arms and thunders:

                “Competitors, bow to each other”

Alehandro makes a miniscule movement that closely resembles a bow. He is never going to take his eyes off of his speedy opponent. Sensei Shihan doesn’t bow at all.

                                Billy Bob raises both hands and swings them down. “FIGHT!”

                The crowd goes wild as Sensei Shihan flies forward like a bullet, attacking a sluggish Alehandro with a barrage of combination punches to the knee and shin. His short height has some disadvantages. Alehandro staggers backwards, and Sensei Shihan leaps back. Blood leaks from Alehandro’s kneecap and lower leg, but it’s just a shallow flesh wound.

                Alehandro slumps his shoulders even more and makes a bizarre whistling noise with his mouth that sounds slightly like a tea kettle letting out steam. Alehandro takes the original Russian stance, with his large fists blocking his lower body. Protecting the head isn’t necessary in his situation, Sensei Shihan can’t even aim a blow under his knee. Sensei Shihan circles Alehandro. Suddenly, like a snake, Alehandro strikes. His right-hand flies out of its posture, targeted straight at Sensei Shihan’s cranium. A whistle of steam from his mouth shortly follows as Alehandro’s fist collides with Sensei Shihan’s head.

                Sensei Shihan sails out of the arena and into the stands, where spectators rush out of the way to avoid being hit by Sensei Shihan’s limp body. With an ear jarring crash, Sensei Shihan hits a small boy wearing a blue hat. The referee considers the huge flat screen above the arena, which is playing a slow-motion replay of the punch. Camera’s target Sensei Shihan’s unconscious form, which doesn’t rise. The referee blows his whistle. Once, Twice, Thrice. On the last note, Alehandro shouts out with joy. He had defeated his corrupt karate instructor in a legal match!

                As Sensei Shihan is carted off to the emergency room, Alehandro is interviewed by weeping camera crews, celebrating Alehandro’s surprising victory.


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