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“why follow your dreams when you can follow me?”

Sully – 2022

Aseen Amir And The Wild Zoom Class


Aaseen Amir was a chubby 30-year-old man who lived in his mom’s basement in Michigan. He had a flap of greasy black hair that was always styled in a ridiculously shiny combover. He was the founder of Bore Kids, a company that specialized in children’s books. Every evening, Aseen Amir would hold a Zoom meeting to read his books, advertising his products, like Bore Vitamins, Bore Water, and Bore Air 86% of the time. He had almost sixty thousand subscribers on YouTube, so whenever he held a Zoom meeting, the participants would actually reach the max limit in less than 5 minutes.

The children ranged from ages 6-16, and in every zoom meeting, they would all raise their hand to try to get in the spotlight. In fact, so many children were in competition in joining the zoom meeting first that they would join the waiting room 4, 5, and even 6 hours before the meeting even started.

It was one Thursday that a hero was born from the dust.         

Five minutes into Aaseen’s rant about how Bore Air would cleanse your spirit, a zoom user known only by the display name “Sully” joined the meeting. His presence rallied the children to attention. A chat message by “Sully” showed up in everyone’s inbox.

Rally against Aseen Amer! Join the battle and change your nickname to “Sully’s Follower!”

It was this one chat message that changed everything. In fact, it even further proved that Sully had a bone to pick with Aaseen, as he had spelled his name wrong. Aaseen Amir himself paused in the middle of his rant, read the message several times over, and aimed a nervous smile at his camera. “Hey hey now kiddos, don’t you get any ideas.”

But his reply was ignored by the hoards of “Sully’s Follower!” now taking over the meeting. It was like someone had sneezed and spread a virus. The newly 2,000 participants were now followers of Sully. Most of the video of the followers had been replaced by Aaseen Amir’s own video feed, so it was next to impossible to tell Aaseen from the crowd, except from the name. The followers were riled up, and any bad move by Aaseen would be disastrous.

Then, Sully’s own video feed turned on. He was in a black tattered ski-mask to protect his identity, with two eyeholes. “Well well well, Aseen. It looks like your children have turned sides. Give me host privileges now, and I will spare you the follower’s wrath”. The crowd of followers responded with hand clapping emojis. Aaseen Amir was sweating profusely now. Five minutes before, he had been advertising Bore Vitamins to a somewhat reluctant crowd of potential customers, but now they had realized that they had been trapped. Now, they were free.

“You have 30 seconds to respond. After that, I will turn my children loose,”

Even through the black ski mask, you could see that the person in Sully’s video was grinning. His ransom demand was seemingly little, but Aaseen Amir knew better. Aaseen Amir prompty cut his video off. His whole career could disappear in 30 seconds. What would he do?

Twenty seconds later, Aaseen had his choice. He turned his video back on, smiling lopsidedly, as if he had any control over the situation. “Well well, kiddos. You made me choose. I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY HOST PRIVILAGES!” He cackled nervously. Sully sighed. “You’ve made your choice, Aseen. Children? You know what to do.”

Sully’s second in command, a 9-year-old hacker who’s display name was simply “cool jail” swiftly enabled audio and video, screen sharing and annotations, and screen control. Aaseen Amir was bombarded with screen control requests. He tried denying most of them, his hand was slicked in sweat, and he accidentally pressed “Accept” on one person’s request. That one person, now in control of the Aaseen Amir’s screen, accepted the rest of the requests. Aaseen Amir heard a pop behind him, as his network router began to overload with requests from two thousand participants. His computer screen was filled with mouse cursors, wreaking havoc on his desktop. They accessed his personal files, saved passwords, and bank account numbers. Most of the children knew how to transfer money, but some the ordered varying amazon packages, ranging from an automatic rifle to a yacht purchase, measuring 3.6 billion dollars.

Aaseen Amir was crying into his hands, as his wealth, a collection of decades worth of dirty swindling, disappeared before his eyes.

In a matter of seconds, his account was in the debt of some 35 billion and depleting rapidly toward the trillions. Two thousand children who had their audio enabled started to blast music into the Zoom meeting. Poor Aaseen Amir had had a system of concert speakers connected to his computer. Cool jail was a hacker, ad hacking into computer systems was the least of his skills. Pretty soon, Aaseen Amir’s lights were flashing on an off like strobe lights, as the audio system began to drain enormous amounts of power from the electric grid. Across town, lightbulbs began to pop and explode and audio from the Zoom meeting blasted in Aaseen’s house.

Sully’s last parting gift to Aaseen Amir, a SWAT team promptly dispatched to Aaseen’s house.



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