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“why follow your dreams when you can follow me?”

Sully – 2022

Shef’s Shenanigans at an arcade

Shef cackled menacingly as he approached the entrance to “XTREME SPORTS AND ARCADE”. He was laying low from the law for now until the FBI moved him down their Most Wanted watchlist. Waddling into the huge building, the squat man noticed that there was a couple dozen people forming a line that led down to the register. Did he want to wait that long just for some entertainment??! Certainly not! Shef pulled out his toque and looked around, making sure no one was watching closely as his rummaged for some potions. Pulling out an electric blue vial, he sniffed it. His eyes rolled back in there head, his nostrils expanded to twice their size, and it was all Shef could do to stand upright. Shef shook his head when the side effects wore off. Just some miscalculations with his potion-making machine.

Shef offered the vial to the next person in line, a man by the name of Billio, who accepted it reluctantly. Billio glanced suspiciously at the squat man who just gave him a glass of glowing blue liquid. “Don’t worry!” Shef consoled the man. “It’s just some of my new Gamer Juice! Guaranteed to make you get that Dub, or die trying!”

Billio, who was a hardcore Roblox player, grinned, and gulped down the vial of blue substance without thinking. There was a small *poof*, and Billio disappeared into thin air, leaving behind a smell of ozone.

Shef moved down the line, his victims either collapsing to the floor, convulsing with pain, or simply disappearing into the air.

After he had moved to the end of the line, he pulled out a single gold bar from his toque, lugged it onto the register’s booth, snatched his arcade card from the register lady who was frozen with shock, and hobbled away, oblivious to the gasps of surprise coming from the people waiting behind him.

Shef cackled as he was bombarded with bright neon lights, attracting him to all sorts of machines.

“Hehe! Just like when I drink some of my Instant Paralysis Potion!”

People crowded the arcade floor like ants, and Shef had to push his way through them to get to the first arcade machine. Shef jovially walked up to a machine, and sitting next to a child who was in the first player seat. “Hehe, greetings little child.” Shef opened his jacket like a shady street seller, revealing bottles of potions on the inside. “Would you like to try a little treat?”

The kid barely looked over, busy blasting away players at the Fortnite arcade machine. “Whaddya want, old man? Can’t you see I’m tryna get the Victory Royale here?”

Shef’s face turned dark with fury. “This potion right here will give you free 10000 Vbucks,” he growled. The child jumped up, attention all on the squat little man.

“What? Where? GIVE IT TO ME! I wanna buy ALL THE SKINS in the item shop!”

Shef handed over a dull vial of green potion. The child, without even bothering to read the label, gulped it down in one go. Shef stood, and watched as the child fell to the floor, clutching his throat. If he had even bothered to read the label, it would have read: Shef’s Transformation Potion! Turn from a normal human into a three headed ostrich!

The boy’s hands began morphing into little flippers, and Shef waddled away to find his next victim.


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