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“why follow your dreams when you can follow me?”

Sully – 2022

Crazy Cat Lady

 Sayse, otherwise known to the world as Crazy Cat Lady, was a terrible girl. She would kidnap cats from there homes in broad daylight and bring them to her house.

“The cats LOOOOVE it!” Sayse would always say, like she could understand cat.  

When the cats were inside of Sayse’s parents’ house, she would hog up the kitchen sink, fill it up with a careful mixture of Epsom salt, to “soften the skin of my cat!”, bubbles, and careful sprinkle of “cat fur curler”, which in theory, would make the straight cat fur, curly.

“My cats LOOOOVE taking baths!” Sayse said, as she would dump the poor cats in the kitchen sink. As any human who has owned a cat before, you should know that cats despise the water. They would rather take a dive off a cliff than take a bath in water. But of course, Sayse projected her thoughts onto the cat.

If Sayse didn’t want to eat her vegetables, neither did her cat. “Princess Pumpkerdindly turns her nose up at these leafy greens!”

But of course, Sayse never turned up her nose at leafy greens. Sayse believed that “A calorie a day keeps the belly fat away!” Doing yoga every morning to ward away her belly fat was a part of Sayse’s routine. She would always keep incredibly small portions. If all of siblings were eating rice and chicken, Sayse would have a single grain of rice, and a tiny drumstick to nibble on. Of course, Sayse wasn’t the only one who would sit at the table. All her cats would, too. They were “trained” to sit properly, and not scavenge the food at the table. But they would. Cats are wild animals, and if you set roasted chicken in front of them, they will resort to their instincts. To eat.

Sayse never got in trouble with her parents. They always seemed oblivious to what Sayse was doing, such as allowing cats to roam freely on the dinner table, and clogging the kitchen sink with cat hair and epsom salt.

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