Tag: Humor
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Gourmet Shef Goes To McDonalds
“Eheh!” Shef cackled like a goose as he waddled his short, squat, squash-like body up the main street. Shef waggled his eyebrows at a gaggle of young women crossing the street. “Hey bebe! Want to come back to my restaurant? I have a blackbird pie you would DIE for! Literally!” Shef was not kidding…
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Linebacker
Linebacker was a short, stubby young boy. Linebacker was his first, middle, and last name. He was born to play football. Ever since the football player was three years old, he enjoyed smashing into his schoolmates in kindergarten, causing extreme pain, and in most cases, hospitalization. Linebacker’s motto was: “If it stands in…
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Yatimae Wants Hot Tea
“I want hot tea!” shouted the tiny toddler, smashing her fist on her parent’s door at 4 in the morning. Yatimae was a stingy, greedy, and spoiled three-year-old baby, but everybody acted like she was a perfect princess. Yatimae had a craving for hot tea ever moment of the day. She would command her servants,…
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Maleb And Madt Caddix Assault The Elderly
Maleb whooped in his restraints like a deranged orangutang as his father, Madt, revved the car engine. They were headed to the supermarket to pick up some tools for their latest heist. “Lets GOOO! I’M NOT AVERAGE, I’M SAVAGE!” The reinforced straps holding the beluga headed Maleb to the car seat strained under the tremendous…
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Gourmet Shef Makes Fried Chicken
It was a bright sunny morning in New York City. On main avenue, in a large restaurant, a cooking contest was taking place. The tables and chairs had been arranged into miniature kitchens, and about ten contestant cooks were standing, watching the judges at the head table. There was one empty kitchen, maybe the contestant…
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Sayse the Kooky Cookie Cook (try saying it five times fast)
“Yo! Time to make COOKIES!” Sayse bleated. Sayse galloped into the kitchen and reached into the pantry. She rummaged around through the mess and grabbed what she thought is a bag of flour. “Flour! Main ingredient of cookies!” Sayse thought out loud. Sayse poured all the entire bag of baking soda into a metal…
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Sayse The Calorie Abolitionist
“Yo! Too many calories!” Sayse grunted as she spooned out another 15 calories from her glass of water. “I’ll need to work off all these calories with my, BELLY FAT APP!” Sayse looked into the glass, and satisfied, took a swig out of the side of her mouth. She shuddered as she felt the…
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The Cheese Man’s Trigonometry Troubles
The Cheese Man was a vicious man. He had a disheveled haircut, and a pair of round spectacles. He thought they made him look smart. The Cheese Man always wore a tan dress shirt, and khakis, which complemented his cheesy-yellow skin. He had a deep, rich, cheesy voice, one that rivaled the great Cheddar.…
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Gourmet Shef make Pizza
Shef grinned malevolently as he shoveled dirt into his metal pail. It was midnight, the perfect time to retrieve dirt from the graveyard. The moon shone high in the sky like it did most nights in the cemetery. Shef had laid out his equipment on the grass; a small flat rock that was supposed…
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Meet Maleb
Maleb was an eleven-year-old child. He wore holey black jeans, a white shirt, and had his spiky hair infused with gel so it resembled a large spike on his rotund head. His short body was a surprising 3 ½ feet off of the ground. The young child had a habit of drinking cranberry juice,…
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